Lists have always been a part of my life (grocery lists, to do lists, wish lists, etc.), which may be a result of my NFJ dad (thank you daddy). I will always remember the list that he put in my soccer bag that included everything I needed for my soccer games (he put the list in a zip lock baggie for safe keeping :)). I absolutely LOVE the feeling of crossing something off one of my lists! When people suggest making lists on my cell phone, I always say that it just doesn't do it for me, there's no satisfaction of crossing off items. If you see me at the grocery store, I stop my cart after each item that I put in my cart, and cross off the item, well, I scribble it off so I can't see it any longer...what a wonderful feeling! Many months ago, I used to say that the things on my to do lists, were things that I HAD to do. "I have to do this. I have to do that. I have to get this. I have to make this." Each time I said I had to do something, or that I NEEDED to do something, I felt a little bit of resentment towards it.
Once I learned the replacement word for "have" to, it changed the way I felt about the items on my lists and about everything else that I "had" to do in my life. Want to know the word? The wonderful, beautiful, non-resentment feeling word is "GET" to!!! That's right; every single thing I do is something that I GET to do...not have to do. Talk about taking something negative and turning it into a positive (life changing :)).
When I first worked on replacing have to with get to, I tried finding things that couldn't apply. I definitely have to pay taxes, don't I? Well, I actually get to pay taxes...I have a choice. There would be consequences for not paying my taxes, but it's still MY CHOICE. And when I tied being grateful into taxes, I realized that I was grateful that I was able to pay my taxes because that meant I had a job, which I was grateful for. Get to and gratefulness, to me, go hand in hand. They’re two peas in a pod. I get to clean the house. I'm grateful that I get to clean my house because that means that I live in a house. I get to pay my bills. I'm grateful that I get to pay my bills because that means I get services (i.e. water, trash, electricity, tv) and have money to pay for them. It was a hard transition to get the word have out of my head, but it was definitely worth it. I get to go to work tomorrow...it's my choice. Sure, if I don't go, there would be consequences, but it's still my choice. I'm grateful that I adore my job and that I have a job. I could keep going :)
When I was teaching first grade and had stations, I used to label things as "Have To's" and "May Do's". Now, if I was teaching first grade, I would label things as "Get To's" and "Extra Get To's." I am blessed to get to teach 1st- 5th grade in my new position, but I don't really have stations any longer because I am a resource teacher and only work with groups of students for a small amount of time. I am mindful of "have" to though. When a student tells me they don't want to do something, I tell them they get a few choices (i.e. work on their work, lose a star, or do their work later and lose out on a privilege). I believe in giving students’ choices and letting them make their own decisions. I am not attached to the decision they choose, although ideally, I'd like them to make the choice I want them to make (get to work right away). Every choice they make has a consequence (positive or negative).
Omitting "have" to and "need" to from my life has helped me grow more than I could have ever thought possible. I am more positive because of it and enjoy getting to do all the things in my life. I get to live and I'm so grateful for that!
