To me, I don't prefer "value-ing" something ("value-ing", in my head, is what I do when I put a value on something). The moment I say that I do or don't like something, I am putting a value on it (which makes my ego happy, but doesn't help me grow). For instance, as soon as I say I like something, I'm putting a high (positive) value on it, and as soon as I say I don't like something, I'm putting a low (negative) value on it. I am working on not "value-ing" things by changing my vocabulary.
It's amazing what changing my vocabulary has done for me :) I am replacing "I don't like it" with "I don't prefer it" and I am replacing "I like it" (well, I normally say love since I'm an NF) with "I prefer it." When I use the word "prefer" instead, I am removing any "value-ing". I'm not putting a value on anything. For example, when I drive around neighborhoods, it's easy for me to say, "I don't like that house," or to think, "Yikes! What is going on there?", but that's a whole lot of "value-ing" going on and a whole lot of ego talk (she always wants the best). Although it's harder for me, since it's new to me, I say, "I don't prefer that house," or think, "Their preference is different than mine."
Tangible objects are ever changing. Things are always getting upgraded and redone. Just think about cell phones...my ego wants the newest, snaziest, up-to-datest, coolest, cell phone out there, and just when it gets it and feels satisfied, the cell phone company flashes a commercial with the new newer model...now my ego is upset and wants the new newest one. Commercials are one of the ego's best friends (unless you have what is on the commercial - then you're it's enemy:)). Commericals are an ego's tease...you know you want me, says the new car on the TV to the ego with the older car. When I put a value on an object, i.e., a cell phone, I'm saying that one is good and another is bad. But isn't that just my opinion? There may be someone else who thinks that the cell phone I said was bad, is good for them...no "value-ing" needed. I either "prefer it" or "don't prefer it". It's as simple as that (sorry ego ;).
Subconsciously, I always knew that saying I liked or didn't like something, wasn't helpful to my growth, but since it was in my subconscious, I never did anything about it. Now, it's in my conscious, and it's time to say bye-bye to "value-ing" and hello to “preference-ing”.
